So today was the annual pilgrimage to the Somerville District Court to get the order against the loathsome psycho ex renewed for another year. I was getting rather worried as I watched the cases that were heard before mine, because the judge today did not seem particularly inclined to grant orders. Of the more than five cases I saw, only one order was granted, and it was temporary.
Anyway, when my turn came, I went before the judge, and explained briefly why I wanted the order. He asked me some questions about the situation and then asked if I had any evidence to present. Fortunately, I had a few recent postings from the ex's reddit community printed out (thanks to someone with a strong stomach for puerile garbage - you know who you are ;-) ). He spent a few minutes reading over the documents, raising his eyebrows several times. After which he said, quote: "That's pretty crazy, I'd be very concerned if I were you, too. I'm granting you a permanent restraining order. May I keep these printouts for the files?"
I hadn't even asked for that! I was just planning on getting it renewed for another year, but the judge understood that the harassment and abuse was unlikely to ever stop otherwise. We've been separated nearly 6 years and divorced for almost 4, longer than we were together, and she's obviously unable to understand that "no" means "no". Before getting the restraining order in the first place, I'd made dozens of requests to be left alone which she aggressively refused to honor. I'd given her numerous chances to comply, and finally said that if it didn't stop I was going to court, to which she responded "I don't give a shit what the court says. I have freedom of speech." Getting an order was a last resort, but necessary. If she won't listen to me, well, that's when it's time to involve people she has no choice but to listen to, whether she likes it or not. Now, any contact, ever, means a trip to a holding cell in the back of a police car.
So many, many thanks to lyonesse for all of your kind support and wise words (including the suggestion to bring the the ex's own written words as evidence - I'm convinced that made all the difference!) I love you sweetie, and can't wait for our ceremony :-)