2013-06-27 10:13 pm

Three magic words:

"Permanent Restraining Order"

So today was the annual pilgrimage to the Somerville District Court to get the order against the loathsome psycho ex renewed for another year. I was getting rather worried as I watched the cases that were heard before mine, because the judge today did not seem particularly inclined to grant orders. Of the more than five cases I saw, only one order was granted, and it was temporary.

Anyway, when my turn came, I went before the judge, and explained briefly why I wanted the order. He asked me some questions about the situation and then asked if I had any evidence to present. Fortunately, I had a few recent postings from the ex's reddit community printed out (thanks to someone with a strong stomach for puerile garbage - you know who you are ;-) ). He spent a few minutes reading over the documents, raising his eyebrows several times. After which he said, quote: "That's pretty crazy, I'd be very concerned if I were you, too. I'm granting you a permanent restraining order. May I keep these printouts for the files?"

I hadn't even asked for that! I was just planning on getting it renewed for another year, but the judge understood that the harassment and abuse was unlikely to ever stop otherwise. We've been separated nearly 6 years and divorced for almost 4, longer than we were together, and she's obviously unable to understand that "no" means "no". Before getting the restraining order in the first place, I'd made dozens of requests to be left alone which she aggressively refused to honor. I'd given her numerous chances to comply, and finally said that if it didn't stop I was going to court, to which she responded "I don't give a shit what the court says. I have freedom of speech." Getting an order was a last resort, but necessary. If she won't listen to me, well, that's when it's time to involve people she has no choice but to listen to, whether she likes it or not. Now, any contact, ever, means a trip to a holding cell in the back of a police car.


So many, many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] lyonesse for all of your kind support and wise words (including the suggestion to bring the the ex's own written words as evidence - I'm convinced that made all the difference!) I love you sweetie, and can't wait for our ceremony :-)
2013-06-09 12:32 am

Things that make me smile!

My favorite person (and best sweetie ever!) and one of my favorite 4 legged friends.

Picture by [livejournal.com profile] melebeth
Braids by [livejournal.com profile] jadia
Princelyness by Ljufur.
Most gorgeous body by [livejournal.com profile] lyonesse (+erudition!)
2011-10-12 12:08 am

Mississippi Personhood Amendment

Signal boost of a post read at [livejournal.com profile] lyonesse 's journal

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] gabrielleabelle at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Okay, so I don't usually do this, but this is an issue near and dear to me and this is getting very little no attention in the mainstream media.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

Jackson Women's Health Organization is the only place women can get abortions in the entire state, and they are trying to launch a grassroots movement against this amendment. This doesn't just apply to Mississippi, though, as Personhood USA, the group that introduced this amendment, is trying to introduce identical amendments in all 50 states.

What's more, in Mississippi, this amendment is expected to pass. It even has Mississippi Democrats, including the Attorney General, Jim Hood, backing it.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I made a meager donation to the Jackson Women's Health Organization this morning, and I received a personal email back hours later - on a Sunday - thanking me and noting that I'm one of the first "outside" people to contribute.

So if you sometimes pass on political action because you figure that enough other people will do something to make a difference, make an exception on this one. My RSS reader is near silent on this amendment. I only found out about it through a feminist blog. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

If there is ever a time to donate or send a letter in protest, this would be it.

What to do?

- Read up on it. Wake Up, Mississippi is the home of the grassroots effort to fight this amendment. Daily Kos also has a thorough story on it.

- If you can afford it, you can donate at the site's link.

- You can contact the Democratic National Committee to see why more of our representatives aren't speaking out against this.

- Like this Facebook page to help spread awareness.

2010-11-12 11:57 am

Well, that was one of the most bizarre experiences I've ever had

 Very, very tired now, having only slept 3 hours in the last 48,  and have taken sedatives, so this is a quick update.

First:  Thanks to all of you for your kind words and support, especially to Lyo and Imalion who drove me to the court and stood by me when I needed it.

Here's a short rundown of what happended:  I requested no contact at all and explained my reasons why, which the judge considered reasonable.  This didn't take but a minute or so.  The crazy ex then spent 10 minutes arguing with the judge about how she's entitled to contact me because anything else would be a violation of her freedom of speech, which is a very bizarre interpretation of that law, to say the least.  Judge wasn't buying it, and  granted the restraining order.  The next bit is a blur to me.  I was starting to talk to the bailiff about how enforcement would take place when she violated it (do I call 911, or the court, or what?.).  As I was doing this, she apparently asked the judge if she could violate the agreement right there in the courtroom, which she then did by coming over and tackling me as I was talking to the bailiff.  I assumed the most non-aggressive posture possible, while the 2 bailiffs pulled her off of me and put her in cuffs.    I was then lead from the courtroom by the first bailiff, who sent me down to wait for paperwork for the restraining order.  So basically, she committed 4 crimes in the courtroom, in front of at least 2 bailiffs,  20 random witnesses, several attorneys and clerks, *and the judge who just filed the order* 

She's currently still at the courthouse, and will be spending the weekend in the jail at the Somerville police station, and will be arraigned on Monday on 1 count each of Assault, Battery, Violation of a restraining order, and Contempt of Court.  I  was told it wasn't necessary for me to wait, once they gave me to paperwork to prove I have a restraining order.  I don't have to be at the arraignment and probably won't go, though I will have to go to the trial as the plaintiff for the 4 charges.;

All in all, if was pretty damn bizarre.  OTOH, it sorta streamlines the process: I no longer have to go back to file charges when she inevitably violated the order, since she did me the favor of doing it right then and there in front of 30 or so witnesses. 

I'm  both astonished and not.  It was, as I said, bizarre.   However, the last 2 years of our marriage had her behaving pretty insanely, so I should be, at least to some extent, used to it and expecting it.  I guess the last couple of years of distance, where she wasn't physically in my face all the time have dimmed the memories somewhat.  Well, that's been "fixed".  She's at least as crazy as I remember, if not worse.

Lyo, Imalion, feel free to add to this anything you remember that I missed.  And thanks again for being there.  I couldn't have done it without you.

I'm barely coherent now, so time to try to sleep.  Goodnight, all.

2010-10-22 05:48 pm

It gets better

I already respect the man more than I have anyone in that office since 1980, but this just blows me away.

2010-10-04 12:37 am

Spirit Day

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] neo_prodigy at Spirit Day

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.

RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)

REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.

2010-10-02 08:54 pm

A final demand to cease all contact - sent by Pywaket

From: pywaket <pywaket@bronze.lcs.mit.edu>
To: Turil <thewiseturtle@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Oct 2, 2010 at 20:48
Subject: I demand that you cease and desist from contacting me in any way
Turil Cronburg:

You are being given final notification that you are not to contact
me in any way.  Furthermore, you are hereby notified that any and
all contact via email, web forum, telephone, or any other medium
will be considered my personal property, and will published to the
public in my Livejournal Turilthestalker, or in any other way I

Pywaket/David Rodenhiser
2010-09-25 06:21 pm

a little something for debunking the crazy ex's delusions


Many thanks to Lyonesse for help setting up and hosting the website for me.

Feel free to apply as needed ;-)
2010-07-22 01:51 am

Happy Birthday Lyonesse

May your new year be filled with happiness, adventure, love, science and ponies!

Especially ponies :-)

Pwny love,
2010-01-02 11:11 pm

it's so much *fun* having a stalker....

Apparently, my blocking filter needs updating, because The Dreaded found a way around it.

I decided I needed to read the email, just in case there was something about her paying me the court-ordered restitution. Hah! I should be so lucky.

Anyway, it was signed thus:

your wife, and your partner for life, and the one who's life is for you...

WTFF does it take for some people to get the picture?!?!? The divorce happened. You aren't my wife anymore, thank Ghu. Leave me alone, you goddamn psycho.

2009-11-04 01:46 am

The bigots have won again...

...in Maine. Sigh.

Not particularly surprised, though. Once you're 10 miles inland from the ocean up there, you might as well be in Kentucky.

"The way life should be" my ass.
2009-03-23 04:01 pm

Maybe I'll start posting to lj....

I've recently had a couple of people suggest to me that they'd find it interesting if I started posting to lj, so I'm considering doing this.  I've had my reasons for not doing so in the past, but have decided I can get over that.   The only remaining question is whether anyone else out there really cares if I do or would be interested in reading it. 

So whaddya think?  Should I bother or not?